Ill
by AmberFox and Lyell
Summary: Our little reman eating orange ninja is ill. And there's only one person who can help him... Well, two if you want to get tecnical. NaruHin. Not your avarage sickinbed oneshot.


(Rated T for perverse divine intervention. By the way, I don't own anything. Not even the Bath Bombs...)

**Naruto Gets Ill by Amberfox**

Naruto lay in the Hokage's bed, eyes half closed as he watched Tsunade pace back and forth at the foot of the bed while Shizune went off to get Jiraiya.

"How can this be possible!" The Godame demanded to the boy in her bed.

"It's a bit obvious." Naruto replied stiffly, his voice slightly weak. "It occurs to everyone in some point it their lives."

"By you have the Kyuubi, this shouldn't happen to you…" She then sighed. He was right, which was a first in her books. "Do you want anything?" She asked, trying to get over the shock of the situation. "Some water… Reman….?"

"No thanks. I don't feel like eating at the moment. All I want to do is sleep." The blond boy said before he began to nod-off.

"Well that's another first… It must be serious." She commented to herself as she watched over the sleeping boy.  
OoOoO

By mid-day, team 7 had already assembled at there meeting place at the bridge. Even Kakashi, who was strangely early (for him), was there, waiting for his last student to arrive, head deep in his usual orange book.

"Where the hell is he!" Sakura yelled angrily at no one in particular. "He's late!"

"Duh." Sasuke scoffed under his breath.

"True." Kakashi told his students. "It's not like him to miss training…"

"Maybe he's eating at that reman place he likes so much?" Sakura said.

"I doubt it." Their sensei scratched his head in thought. "He would have figured out the time by now."

Sasuke caught some movement at the edge of his vision and turned his head. There he saw the familiar face of Jiraiya walking towards them.

"Kakashi I must speak with you." The sage said in a grave voice to the teacher, catching everyone's attention.

"It's about Naruto, isn't it?"

Jiraiya nodded his head. "It seems that Naruto has gotten down with a nasty case of the flu."

"The flu!" Kakashi started, in shock. "But that's impossible, he's got-"

Jiraiya coughed and motioned to his friends students, both of which were looking at him suspiciously.

"-The flu, you say?" He continued.

"Yep." The frog hermit replied. He then pouted. "He's in Tsunade's room, being looked over…"

"And you wish you were in his shoes." Kakashi finished.

"Will you please knock it off, we have virgin ears." Sakura yelled, ready to throttle the both of them.

"Can we train now?" Sasuke asked, not really caring.

"No." Their teacher said. "We've got a mission."

"What is it?" Sakura asked, getting slightly suspicious.

"Why checking up on Naruto of course!" There teacher said with ,what looked like, a smile. "Only losers don't take care of their team-mates! Bring some soup and tea and meet me at the Hokages office in 20 minutes." And with that, he disappeared in a poof.

"You've got 2 hours." Jiraiya translated his old friends declaration, before turning around and walking away. "And that leaves me time to gather some research…"  
OoOoO

Meanwhile, back at the Hokage's house…

"No." The now awake Naruto told a nurse firmly.

"But we need a blood sample." The nurse told him sternly.

"Then get a knife and stab me, I'm not gonna go anywhere near that needle." The patient bluntly growled.

The nurse sighed at his stubbornness. "Come on, it can't be that bad Mr…"

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto said, crossing his arms weakly and giving a small nod.

The woman's eyes widened. "I see." She said. Without another word, she turned around and power-walked towards the Hokage, who was at the far side of the room, doing some paperwork on a desk.

"Hokage-sama I can't treat him." She said to the elder woman.

"And why not?" Tsunade said with steel in her voice as she stared hard at the nurse. "Is it because of the Kyubbi!"

"Oh no Tsunade-sama." The nurse said, shaking her head. "It's his record."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"You see," The nurse continued. "He has had a record of violent behaviour towards needles. If you'll check his file…"

"I'll do that, thank you Hanajima-san. You may go get it." The Hokage ordered.

"There on your desk, Tsunade-sama." Hanajima said, pointing to a small file at the far side of the counter.

"Ah, thanks." Tsunade said slightly embarrassed. She picked it up and began reading.

"OMFG!" She yelled in surprise. "3 broken ribs, a broken arm, five concussions and 2 unconscious doctors!"

"And all because Naruto-san needed a measles vaccination."

"He was four!" Tsunade exclaimed in disbelief.

"And not even started the academy." The other woman replied with a nod.

"You do realise that I _can _hear you." Naruto shot from across the room.

"Then hear this." Tsunade told him. "We will get a blood sample from you. Even if I have to hold you down myself." And with that she stood from her desk and walked out her bedroom door, determined to find Jiraiya and the others for some much needed battle-plans.  
OoOoO

Later, in the Hokages office

Everyone was there. Kurenai, Asuma, even Jiraiya (who had been dragged out of the bushed by some Anbu) were seated around the conference table. Each one of them were thinking about the situation their leader put forward.

"I can't see how you can't just hold him down yourself?" Iruka said as he looked towards the Hokage.

"I could." Tsunade admitted. "But I might seriously injure him if he choose to fight back. And, as you all know, he wouldn't be Uzumaki Naruto if he didn't fight back."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"We could add a little something in his food to make him sleepy." Asuma said thoughtfully. "A small paralysing drug or a sleeping potion would work best. And it would save us some aggravation."

"We are not sure a paralyser would have any effect on him. His fast healing metabolism could burn through the drug quickly or it could affect the blood results. The sleeping drought method was tested once on Naruto, with a disastrous result. Let's just say that Kyuubi isn't very fond of needles either…" Shizune looked at her comrades soberly over Naruto's medical file, reading out the results of past failures.

"You mean it got out?" Kurenai said in shock.

"No, simply took over Naruto's body, much like Gaara's Shukaku. But when it gained control it took one look at the needle that was heading towards them and panicked, almost fatally injuring all the medical staff in the room and nearly destroying the room itself. It was only lucky that the Kyuubi chose to retreat back into its host instead of advancing."

Even Gai sweatdropped.

"How…?" Ibiki muttered aloud. "How could such a powerful demonic creature like the Kyubbi have such fear in a small needle?"

"It's a primal fear." Anko said matter-of-factly.

"Naruto's youthful spirit has yet again burned brightly, even in the peak of illness." Gai said to everyone. "Truly he is a determined shinobi."

"That or just stubborn." Anko said.

"That's what I just said." Gai said to Anko.

The Hokage's door open and our favourite late-comer walked into the room.

"Sorry I'm late," He said as he sat down beside Iruka. "I was eaten by an Anaconda."

"That's got to be one of the worst excuses I've ever heard." Asuma said to himself. "How did you get out?"

"…Don't ask."

"Whatever," Tsunade interrupted. "The point is the last time someone came at Naruto with a needle they nearly got killed. What we need is a plan."

"I might have something." Jiraiya said, standing from his chair to address his peers.

"Oh no you don't!" Tsunade shot at him. "The last time you had an idea was when you used a jutsu to turn yourself into a monkey and bathed in the girls baths until someone chased you out because you stole their towel!"

"That was _you_!" Kurenai yelled in shock. In embarrassment she covered her already clothed body self-consciously.

"You bastard!" Anko shouted with a fist raised, ready to give the toad sennin the beating of a lifetime. "I'll _kill_ _you_!"

"Now, now." The Hokage told them. "There will be no killing in this room. It's murder, trying to get blood-stains out of the carpet and walls." She whispered the last part.

The girls muttered their complaints as they calmed down.

"If it'll ease your minds, I'll bring Kakashi with me when I set my plan into motion." Jiraiya began as he started to head for the door. Kakashi nodded and got up from his chair as well and without another word the two ninjas walked out of the conference room and closed the door.

"Wait. What was his plan?" Asuma asked.

"Hopefully something un-perverted." Ibiki sniffed.  
OoOoO

"So what's the plan?" Kakashi asked as he and the sage left the Hokage building and into the busy streets of the village.

"Something completely and totally perverted." The toad sage said with a lewd smile and a thumb up. "After all, we need to distract him from the needle…"

Kakashi nodded in understanding.

"All we need now is a pretty little thing that'll take the boys mind off his surroundings, and by the time he snaps out of it we'd be out the door with the sample."

"Who knew drawing blood from a loudmouth needed so much planning." Kakashi said.

His companion nodded.

"But I just might have the person we're looking for…" The one-eyed Jounin said. "Although it might take some convincing and a hell of a lot of stealth." He smiled. "He won't know what hit him!"  
OoOoO

"Come on Naruto, just take the damn shot and be done with it!"

"No."

"Stupid dope. Take it so we can train."

"Go to hell, Teme!"

"Don't insult Sasuke-kun like that."

"Bite me. I'm not having a needle in me Sakura-chan!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's another famous Team 7 argument led by Sakura who was beside Naruto's bed. On the other side sat Sasuke, looking bored out of his mind.

"You dealt with senbons in the Wave and Tea Country, I can't see why your scared of needles." Sakura told him with a frown.

"I'm not scared!" Naruto said in anger. "Senbons are a lot bigger then needles, so you can take them out easily. Needles are frail, hollow peaces of metal that could break and stay imbedded into your skin, causing gangrene or something." He crossed his arms and pouted.

"Whatever." Sasuke muttered.

"Now now children visiting time's over." Nurse Hanajima said as she entered the room. "Come back tomorrow and see how your team-mate is."

"Miss? How come Naruto's in the Hokage's house and not in the hospital?" Sakura asked as she got up and made her way towards the woman.

Hanajima gave a nervous laugh. "Well, you see…he's a special case." Clearly not use to lying.

"How's he a special case when he's only got the flu?" Sakura asked sceptically. It didn't take her ninja skills to tell she wasn't being entirely accurate.

Before the nurse could open her mouth for another lie Naruto let lose a giant sneeze, sending a large jet of flames across the room and into the nearest wall, where Sakura once sat.

"That's why." Hanajima said after she picked her jaw up from the floor.

Naruto sniffed. "Can I get another tissue. This one's all… ashy."

"Alright Naruto-san." Hanajima said as she scurried out the room, glad she could duck out of the conversation.

"Well see ya, Naruto! Com'on Sasuke-kun, it's just you and me!" Sakura said happily, now satisfied with the answer, dragging her other team-mate out the door behind the nurse.

Sasuke clearly looked like he would be ill himself.

Naruto laughed at this and lay back into his bed with a wide smile and a stretch. It was good to see his friends again, but the visit had made him tired. Yawning, he turned over and began to drifted off into the land of nod.

"N-naruto-kun?" A small voice called to him over his dreamy daze.

"Hinata-chan?" He murmured, cracking an eye open.

"I bought you some ramen to cheer you up." Hinata's voice became stronger as she drew nearer to his bed.

Naruto sat up and rubbed his eyes from sleep. "Thanks, but I don't feel lik-!" His voice caught in his throat as his gaze fell upon her.

Hinata wasn't wearing her usual coat and shorts. Hell, he didn't even know if it was the real Hinata! Wearing what looked like an extremely tight nurses outfit, with a skirt two times smaller then it should be and what looked like a pair of black fox ears on top of her head the girl in front of the door smiled a shy smile as she held a tray with a large bowl of ramen and a cup of water.

"Ano… Naruto-kun." Hinata said timidly as her crush's gaze travailed up and down her body. "Do you like my new outfit?" She blushed at the though. Slowly moving towards him he could see that Hinata also wore what looked like a black tail, which was swaying behind her.

"…erk!" Naruto exclaimed, now blushing twenty shades of red. Those dazzling innocent lavender eyes! Those full subtle lips! The way her breasts perked every time she drew breath! And the tail…! It wavered suggestively at him as her hips swayed while she walked towards him! Holding a big, steaming bowl of mouth-watering reman…!

"Are you sure you don't want some-"

Phhhfffff! Blood began to explode out of Naruto's nose with such force it jettison him into the wall behind his bed, knocking him into unconsciousness.

"-reman?" Hinata finished, shocked.

"Well done, my dear." Jiraiya said with a smile, coming out from his hiding place of behind the door.

"Is N…Naruto-kun alright?" Hinata asked, still shocked and a little bit nervous.

"He's fine." The sage reassured the girl. "He just needs a lot of rest. The last visitor must have made him a bit sleepy."

"B-but the blood…"

"Sometimes blood-pressure get extremely high and it usually cause nose-bleeds and such." He said with a little chuckle. "We'll just put the reman on the desk beside him, and when he's hungry he can eat it, Okay?"

"Oh…okay." Hinata said a little disappointed she couldn't take itto her crush but did as she was told and put the bowl next to the comatosed boy. "Jiraiya-sama? Thanks for the nurses outfit, but why does it have a tale on it?" She asked, eyes blinking innocently at the elder man.

Jiraiya sweated. "It's because it was my…nieces. She liked to play doctor and she though to be an animal doctor she had to become more animal-like…hehe." He said, hoping she would buy the excuse.

"…That might explain why it's so tight…" Hinata said to herself.

Jiraiya gave another nervous chuckle and smiled. "Maybe you should come back at another time with your friends." He said, trying to avoid the subject further. "I'm sure he'll be awake by then."

"Okay…" The Hyuuga heir said, and with a little bow she left the room, still a little sad but had hope that she could see him on her next visit.

Jiraiya made sure she was out of ear-shot before he closed the rooms door. "Kakashi." He called. "Pssst! Where are you?"

"Up here." A voice said above him. The toad-sennin looked up to see the copy-nin, upside-down on the ceiling holding a camera and a big grin on his masked face.

"Did you get it?" Jiraiya asked.

"Operation 'Lookie lookie' was successful." He said with a nod as he dropped to the floor. "It's all here." He patted the camera.

"I'm surprised they didn't see you." Jiraiya said to his friend.

"Oh, it's just a ginjutsu I copied during my Anbu days." Kakashi said modestly. "Nothing really. I see operation 'Blood' was also a success." He said, surveying the blood-soaked area.

"A bit more successful then I thought, but that can't be helped. Boys have the most _vivid_ imaginations." Jiraiya said with a knowing smile. "Let's get some samples to Tsunade before he wakes up, eh?"

"What. The. _Hell_?" Stated Hanajima as she entered the room with a box of tissues. Blood covered every wall and some of the ceiling of the room that her charge was in. Standing in the middle of the mess were two nins, looking slightly sheepish. "You…you BASTARDS!" She continued to screech. "What did you do to Naruto-san?"

"Ano-sa." Kakashi tried to explain to the now hysterical nurse. "We were told to get a blood sample of him-"

"That doesn't mean you have to kill him!" Hanajima franticly waved her arms in the air.

"He's only stunned miss." Jiraiya told her, edging towards a window. Having a profession like his, he had met many women before and knew that an angry woman, even a medi-nin, was something to run from. (Especially if you were caught peeking in the woman's baths.)

"I don't care! He could have died of blood-loss! What were you thinking?"

Kakashi bowed his head. She reminded him strongly of his mother when he had done something foolish. Instinct told him to stay still, keep quiet and look sorry or her ire could be centred on him. And that was something he'd rather not have. "…sorry…" He muttered meekly.

Jiraiya looked at his friend, shocked that the ex-Anbu's reaction to the woman.

Hanajima sighed. "Look," She told the two. "I'll get the blood sample and give it to Tsunade-sama. You two… Just clean up this mess before the Hokage comes back to find her room looking like a murder took place." And with that she took out a small cup and began filling it with blood while Kakashi went to find a mop, dragging Jiraiya behind him.  
OoOoO

**Epilogue (If you can have that in a Oneshot… If Not, then this is just something added on the end...)**

"Feeling better Naruto?" Sakura asked as the boy in question made his way to there usual meeting place for training.

Naruto gave his usual big smile. "Yep! All I needed was some rest. It was nothing really."

"Huh. Breathing fire without a jutsu isn't nothing, baka." Sasuke told him.

"Yeah. How did you do that anyway?" Sakura asked. "I've looked in all the medical journals and found nothing like that."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "The flu was really messing up my chakra, that's why." He said with a little laugh. "Baba says it's a rare, but it happens."

'…_Right.' _Sakura thought, not believing a word he said.

"Hey, Naruto!" A voice called behind him. Turning, round Naruto saw two figures head towards him. Well, three if you include Akamaru, who was riding in his masters jacket.

"Hey Kiba! Shino!" The boy yelled, waving his hand in the air in greeting.

"I brought you something that Okaa-san has whenever she's sick." The rambunctious Inuzuka told him, holding up a sealed paper bag as the group made there way towards Team 7 with Shino close behind him.

"Baka!" Naruto cried. "Dog medicine is different to human medicine!"

Kiba fumed. "This isn't medicine, you asshole!" He yelled.

"So you _do_ take dog medicine!" Naruto shouted in triumph.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!" Kiba yelled back with some barkings from Akamaru.

'_Gods… There's two of them…' _Sasuke thought as he watched events unfold.

"Just take the damn thing!" Kiba shouted, tossing the brown paper bag at the fox-boy.

"What is it?" Naruto asked. He ripped open the package and took out a red ball and sniffed it.

"Okaa-san says it's good for aching muscles." Kiba said helpfully.

"Kiba," Naruto gave said dog-boy an odd look. "it's a bath-bomb."

"Strawberry and Mandarin surprise." The Inuzuka told the group. "You also got Camomile and Lemon comfort, Tea and Eucalyptus, Jasmine and Lavender luxury and a Jungle Mix."

Sakura took the bag from Naruto and sniffed inside it. She then looked up at Kiba and said, "You know Kiba bath-bombs are considered extremely feminine?"

Kiba looked extremely surprised. "They are? But Otou-san uses them as well! Usually with Okaa-san's when everyone's away…" His face began to redden with realisation.

"…Dude, we did not need to know that…" Shino told him.

"Ewww! Old-people love!" Sakura said, handing the bombs back to Naruto.

"Thanks for the present, but they aren't my thing." The fox-boy told Kiba.

"Hello… Naruto-kun." A small voice issued behind Shino as Hinata's head popped into view.

Phhhfffff! Blood began to explode out of Naruto's nose once again with a force that sent him into the tree behind him, _almost _knocking him out this time.

"OMG!" Sakura yelled in surprise.

"What the hell kind of jutsu was that?" Kiba asked the shy girl as Naruto's team-mates went to there fallen comrade.

"He's alive!" Sakura told them after checking his pulse.

'_I must learn that technique.' _Sasuke thought.

"It…it wasn't any sort of jutsu, Kiba-kun." Hinata squeaked out. "I just…umm… you see… the thing is…well…" She tried to explain. Turning away from the situation she dove into her pocket, looking for something. Finding what she was looking for, she clutched it protectively over her chest. "Umm… Jiraiya-sama told me Naruto-kun was ill… And only nurses and his team were allowed to see him…so…" She showed her team the article she held. It was a photograph. "…So he gave me this outfit…"

She didn't have to continue her story.

"**_Woof!" _**Akamaru said, impressed.

Kiba whistled in agreement. "You're right Akamaru. Hinata looks _good_!"

"I knew that Ero-Sennin was up to this!" Naruto cried as he suddenly appeared beside Shino. Unfortunately, being next to Hinata again and seeing the picture brought back even more 'memories' and sent him backwards for a second time that day.

"Oww…" The fallen boy groaned.

"Naruto-kun…Are you alright?" Hinata asked nervously.

"Just don't come near me with reman, and I'll live." Naruto said with a suffering tone.

"Now Naruto-kun hates me!" Hinata began to cry. "He doesn't want me near him!" She sobbed and ran over the bridge and away.

"Hinata-chan, wait! He didn't mean it that way!" Kiba yelled to her and began running after his team-mate, photo still in hand.

Shino looked down at the still bleeding boy before saying, "It's your fault Hinata-chan's crying. Apologise." and taking off after his friends.  
OoOoO

Kiba wasn't the first to find Hinata. A close second, but not the first.

Neji held his cousin closely as she stained his shirt with her tears. What could have made Hinata cry like this? Poor, sweet, shy, innocent Hinata? Did someone die?

"He hates me." She wept. "He hates me, and doesn't want to see me ever again!"

"Who hates you Hinata-chan?" Tenten asked from her log seat beside Neji.

"Indeed! Who has stained your beautiful innocence with such sorrow that your youthful flames have wavered with the cool breeze of doubt!" Lee asked a bit distressed, sitting on Neji's other side.

"To see such purity as your tainted with such sadness fill's my heart with the woe that is worthy of a thousand tears from a thousand doves of peace." Gai-sensei chimed in, kneeling beside her. "Tell us who has done such wrong to you, gentle maiden."

"He hates me." Was all she said, her voice muffled by the training cloths pressed to her face. "He doesn't want anything to do with me!"

"Hey!" Kiba called, running towards the quartet. Coming to a stop in front of them he tried to regain his breath. Who knew the girl could run that fast over a long distance… They were at the other side of the village! "Hinata-chan, I can explain-"

"So it was _you_ who tainted poor Hinata-chan's heart with such misery! Her own team-mate!" Lee yelled, pointing a finger at the Inuzuka and his pup companion.

Akamaru snarled and tried to bite the offending finger off from his place in Kiba's coat, but he was too far away to do so.

"It's not like that!" Kiba yelled in defence. _'Geeze! What's with people today! I say it like that, they say it like this…'_

"Then explain to us please why Hinata-sama is crying her eyes out." Neji asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"It's all Jiraiya's fault." Kiba said as he handed the photo to Gai. "He tricked her into dressing up like _that_ because he told her that no one but nurses were allowed to see Naruto."

"Urk!" Gai exclaimed red faced, his eyebrow twitching.

"Gai-sensei? Can I see?" Lee asked innocently, reaching out for the photo.

"No Lee!" His beloved teacher stood up and took the picture out of his prize pupils reach. "This photograph should not be seen by the eyes of those so young!"

"Oh, give it here." Neji said, successfully snatching it from his sensei. Upon looking at the photo for just a second caused the stone-faced Hyuuga to turn ten shades of red and create several veins to pop out of his temple. And I don't mean from his eyes.

"Let's see?" Tenten asked, leaning over to look. "Oh, my…"

Lee followed suit before Gai could stop him. "She's not as pretty as Sakura-chan would be."

Neji began to tremble with rage. "Hinata-sama?" He said in a tone that could only described as 'sub-zero'. "Is this true? Did Jiraiya-sama do this?"

"H-hai." Hinata sniffed, taking her face from the now wet cloth only to cover her face with her hands, ashamed. "And then…It was awful…" She then gave out a heart-ranching sob.

He had heard enough. Standing suddenly Neji, still red, looked to the four witnesses to Hinata's testament. "You guys take her home. I've got something to do." And with the photo still in his hands he turned from the group and ran.

"Is he gonna go after Jiraiya by himself!" Tenten asked worried as she made her way to the still weeping girl to comfort her.

"Neji is not a fool." Gai addressed them. "I'm guessing he is going to find someone who can do something about this injustice."  
OoOoO

'_Hinata-sama. I will avenge you!' _Neji thought as he made his way over the buildings of Konoha. Seeing his goal in the distance he sped up, letting his anger give him new strength and determination. Reaching his destination he quickly jumped over the fence and banged open the door. Servants squeaked in surprise as the once emotionless warrior stormed through the halls like a hurricane, searching for the room that held importance to him. Finding it, he then opened the door with a bang, finding a small group of Main-House members in a meeting.

"What is the meaning of this Neji!" Hyuuga Hiashi, growled as he looked up from his meeting with the elders of the clan.

"How dare a Branch House member interrupt our meeting!" An elder sneered.

"Sir this is very important." Neji told them sternly. His face still held that red-tinge of anger and to Hiashi that meant that whatever it was it was far more important then the annual training rota for the younger members of their clan.

"And what it that?" He asked, his face impassive.

"Sir, Jiraiya-sama has committed a great crime upon the Hyuuga family and I wish for vengeance." Neji hissed, his face now in anger at the memory of Hinata.

"This is a serious accusation." Hiashi told him. "He is a prestige figure in this village and the Hokage's confidant. What crime has been committed?"

"He has done _this_ toHinata-sama." Neji said, holding the picture in his hand. He walked over to the head of the table and gave it to the clan's chieftain.

Hiashi gasped in horror as he looked at the photograph.

"He tricked her into wearing _that _by telling her it was the only way she could see an ailing friend. He then took this photograph and subjugated her to humiliation." Neji told the council.

Hiashi didn't hear a word the shinobi said. All he could see was the picture of his sweet innocent daughter and the thought of what the toad sennin did to her. It was no secret he was as perverted as they come, and with his little girl in that outfit… He didn't want to think about that.

Something had to be done!

"Jaken!" He called. The screen door opened as a tall servant entered.

"You called, my lord?" He said dully, in a voice that could only be described as 'droning'.

"Get every available fighting Hyuuga, Main and Branch, into the main hall as quickly as possible!" He then looked to Neji. "Jeopardizing the Hyuuga clan's honour and disrespecting the clan's heir must not go unpunished! We will have our vengeance!"

"What matter are you speaking of!" An elder asked as his group rose in outrage. "It is an outrage that you have not consulted us about this situation! Nor ask us for permission!"

"I don't think I'll need your permission." Hiashi said to them as he flipped the picture around for them to see.

It took the elders at least 5 seconds to fully compute what they saw.

"Should we bring mattocks as well? One of them asked.  
OoOoO

"Oi, Jiraiya? You feeling alright?" Tsunade asked as her perverted friend sneezed for the seventh time that hour.

"I'm fine." He replied from his stool next to her. "I've just got this feeling…"

"Like someone's talking about you?"

"No. Like someone wants to kill me." He said, taking a sip of sake. He rather enjoyed theses little get togethers with his former team-mate. Sitting in a small bar, drinking sake and talking of old times. Forgetting their age and responsibilities…

"I think that's Naruto's thoughts you're getting." Tsunade said as she took a sip of her own.

"Nah, he forgave me once I taught him the Inyoukaibutsu jutsu." Jiraiya looked over to find the bartender had put some dumplings in a dish next to him. "Those look tasty…" He said as he picked one up and bit it.

"That's a Jounin level technique which turns anything into a monster in the eyes of the enemy, isn't it?" She gave her friend a look.

"Hey, if he could master the Resengen at his age, then it was pretty easy to teach him something as simple as Inyoukaibutsu." He took another bite out of his dumpling.

"Hokage-sama!" A voice came from behind the two. Tsunade turned to meet the face of a Hyuuga messenger. "Hiashi-sama would like to see you urgently!" He then noticed Jiraiya sitting next to her. "You're Jiraiya-sama, right?" He asked seemingly innocently.

"That's right! I am the great toad sennin Jiraiya!" He said with a wide grin. _'Wow! Even the Hyuuga's recognise my greatness! I am so famous!' _He thought.

"I thought so." The messenger said. As quickly as he could he turned towards the street, pulled out a whistle and blew it, sending a loud high-pitch sound throughout the streets. "Hey! I found him! He's here!" He yelled, pointing to the sage.

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at the man before small groups of Hyuugas appear from around corners and alleys to form a huge mob around the messenger.

"I found him." The Hyuuga said again to his fellows.

"Good work Shishio." Someone in the group said. "Now he will pay."

As if that was some sort of signal the crowd took to a fighting stance, and some weapons and touches appeared around the men and women. Both clueless sennin found the weapons to be as deadly as double-headed battle-hoe's to simple clubs and knifes. Jiraiya even saw what looked like a wooden board with some nails hammered through it.

"Jiraiya-sama. For your crimes to the Hyuuga family we were told to bring you in for inquisition." Shishio explained with a stone face. "Either come with us quietly or be taken."

"But I haven't done anything wrong to your clan!" The sage said with a confused look.

The messenger raised an eyebrow.

"We have proof of your malefactor to our clan heir! You deceived her and humiliated her in a fashion that is punishable by death." Shishio told him sternly.

"Come with us now and it won't hurt a bit." A burly Hyuuga beside the speaker said. "Well, maybe not for us…" He patted a club in his hand.

"**Yeah!" **The group yelled in union followed by shouting and mutterings from them to each other. Jiraiya and Tsunade could swear that they could hear some blades being whet.

"I will speak to Hiashi-sama about this matter." Tsunade addressed the throng of wroth-filled people.

"That's fine with us." A Hyuuga woman on Shisho's other side said. "You may take your time. But while we're waiting…"

"Ahh!" And with that the pallid toad sennin ran to the nearest bulwark, closely followed by an angry mob.

End.

(Did you think Hinata was gonna cure him? Well, she did in a way, but it wasEro-Sennin who helped. Poor bastard! Hahahahahah!In case your wondering… Ihyou means surprise while Kaibutsu means monsters. Hanajima is a name from Fruits Basket (Yes, I have the anime.), Jaken's from Inuyasha and Shishio is from Rorouni Kenshin (one of my favourites!).)


End file.
